Demonic Levitation, 5G Masturbation Surveillance, and a LEGO-Fueled Conspiracy: How Humanity Became Right About Everything and Wrong About Reality — An Essay on Disinformation

I've been thinking. I've been thinking these last few days. And the world is in a constant state of chaos, isn't it?

Yes, I wrote a piece about how the world is going to hell and what to do about it. But that was, what, five months ago? We have new wars. A very contested election happened just yesterday, October 25, 2026, in Brazil. There's the whole global warming thing. It's really, really complicated right now.

And it makes me wonder: was the world always this crazy? Were people always this worked up about everything? Because I don't think so.

I have this vague memory of October 1993. I was only three years old, so naturally, I don't remember things very clearly.

My dad was reading the newspaper. There was something about American special operations forces fighting insurgents in Mogadishu, and the situation was pretty dire. I remember, or at least I think I remember, my father being quite alarmed by the whole thing.

And I vaguely remember that we spent a couple of days following the situation from half a world away. Being this weird kid who was obsessed with warfare, and had been obsessed with warfare since he could sit in a cradle, I enjoyed those conversations with my dad. He told me things about it, like how everything worked.

The details are blurry, but the feeling isn't. It's one of my nicest memories with my father.

But the Battle of Mogadishu was something that happened, and people kind of paid attention to it because they had to. It was something that was happening that wasn't normal.

Right now, Ukraine is fighting a war that is huge. Russia and Ukraine are at each other's throats 24/7 and have been for nearly five years.

And people keep telling me things like, "You still watch Ukraine? Like, that's nothing. You should get over that."

And my response? "Dude, if that conflict goes wrong, we all, we all could find ourselves in a really nasty war."

And some of you are probably right now preparing your torches and your pitchforks, like, "Dude, are you even paying attention to Ukraine when you should be paying attention to Israel versus Palestine?"

And I say, look, one of these days I'm gonna write a piece about that conflict. But I don't want to get involved in that one today, because it's time for us as a species to let old, dead men rest and move forward. That's not something that should happen. And I won't get into that today. I will do it later.

But a huge land warfare operation in Europe? It's like, "Oh my God, you're still paying attention to that?"

And my answer is, "Yes. That could overflow into Poland any day. And then we all will be fucked."

And some of you, more interestingly, will say something like, "Oh, but you're falling for disinformation from the Ukrainian regime."

And I will counter by saying, because I'm very clever, "No, no, no, no, no. You're falling for disinformation from the Russian regime."

And someone else will say something about the Zionist agenda and disinformation. And everyone likes to claim that the other side is the one being fooled.

And let's not kid each other. We are split into sides. We love to say that the other side is plagued by disinformation.

This is a tragedy. Poor other side. Poor fucking idiots. We should put them out of their misery, because they're making fools of themselves.

But we? We are not victims of disinformation. How could we be? We are the virtuous side of this conflict.

And this happens. It doesn't matter which side you're on. This happens to you, right?

And this is important, because disinformation is global. Everyone uses it. Everyone has a motive to use it.

And I think part of the reason the world is going to hell is because of disinformation.

Think about it. When the Nazis were fighting the Allies in Europe, news was broadcast live from London, and you got an official version, and then you got a couple of unofficial ones. But maybe someone, somehow, corrected the record, corrected people's opinions.

But in general, the landscape of available information wasn't that big.

On the internet, we have a lot of knowledge available, and that's good. I'm not saying that's bad, but we also have a lot of disinformation available.

And you'll probably be like, "Okay, dude, make your fucking point."

And my fucking point is exactly this: we are plagued by disinformation because we want it.

Why do we want disinformation? Because, because, because we like it. We like to feel validated.

There's something that the internet brought upon all of us, and it's that it makes us feel smarter than we are. We have these little thinking machines that can get any information to us really fast, and we think that because our world is smarter, we are smarter.

But I'm here to tell you, my friends, we are probably very stupid, all of us.

Think about the average person. The average person doesn't want to be worried about anything. Now think about what average means, and think that half of all people are less than average.

And the need to make this an us-and-them argument is nil. Do you know why? Because depending on what you consider average, you will always be on the lower side.

For example, when I was quite a bit younger, I liked to think I was very smart.

But today, I was at this public event, and everyone was like, "Oh my God, I want to have my picture taken! Give me a hug! Oh, we're so happy together here!"

And I was like, "Please, please let the jaws of hell open and take me, because I don't want my picture taken."

And I discovered, to my horror, that I'm known by a lot of people as the one who hides.

Now tell me, who's below average?

There was this time in human history when we craved, wanted, dreamed of things like freedom and the truth. Terrible and beautiful, the truth was an ideal.

Right now, I think we're more worried about being right than about objective truth.

And the problem is that if we don't actually want the truth, but would rather be right, what happens to a civilization where everyone is right?

Because everyone is wrong.

That's a problem.

So, to answer the question I asked at the beginning: no, the world is not more fucked than it has ever been.

And actually, things keep improving and worsening, because it's a cycle. You have competing forces in the world, so we have order and we have chaos: solve et coagula, you know?

So what has changed is probably that we have so many outlets, so many competing sources of information, and so much of it is fake, or at least biased, that we can't properly function anymore as a working society.

Let me explain.

There's one case of misinformation that I really like. Like, really like.

And it's the whole "vaccines cause autism" thing.

It's like, dude, if vaccines caused autism, we'd have 100% autistic people in the world.

Nah, because some people would be immune, and in the end we're all a little bit autistic, and all that crap.

Yeah.

But this piece of disinformation is very nice to think about, because besides the lives of your children, or someone else's children, you have nothing to lose and a lot to win.

Imagine how special, how fucking chosen, you can feel thinking that Johnson & Johnson and fucking Moderna are out to get you, and that a simple shot will put you, I kid you not, under heavy spiritual attacks.

I read that, you know? It's not a joke.

"After the jab, I've been under heavy spiritual attacks."

My immediate reaction? I want to experience that.

It's like, things are moving. Are you, like, levitating while you sleep? Because that actually sounds pretty comfortable.

I can never be, like, completely comfortable, because one of my arms is always in the way. I'm thinking about amputating my left arm so I can properly cuddle my pillow.

So if there's levitation in this, we can talk.

We might be in business.

But until the beautiful day when we can use the demonic powers of Pfizer to levitate while we sleep, we should probably focus on what happens when people become so emotionally invested in a falsehood that discovering the truth feels like losing themselves.

And this, my friends, this is the point we are trying to make.

And let's keep hitting anti-vaxxers. Basically because we can mock them. Because if they get close enough to hit us, they'll catch something from us and die. They have no herd immunity. We are safe.

And these people, fuck, I know a couple.

Like, two or three of my friends from my youth became anti-vaxxers after they had kids, and they've been very proactive about it. Like, they have set every meaningful relationship they had on fire over this.

And then, last year, the World Health Organization published this paper that basically says, "No, we actually did a study."

And this is where the anti-vaxxers say, "No, but this wasn't a double-blind study. We demand a double-blind study."

That can't be done, my friend. Because a double-blind study on vaccines and autism would require that you inject healthy people with the vaccine, and then healthy people with a placebo, and send them all out into the world. Sounds cruel? It is. 

Yeah? That can't be done.

But the WHO did its job, and it didn't find a meaningful link.

Now, imagine how my friends would feel calling everyone in their address books, like, "You know what? That belief I set my relationship with you on fire over? I was wrong. Sorry. Can we, like, meet next Sunday?"

"To hell, you say? Go to hell? I don't understand."

And yeah, that would be very awkward.

So what do they say?

"No, no, no, no, no. What's happening is that they want more autistic people because LEGO isn't selling enough this year, and we need more IT workers. So they're trying to make more autistic people because they suck at tech support. And LEGO bricks are made from ABS, which is a petroleum-derived plastic, so in the end, it's all Big Oil and the Illuminati. No, I'm not vaccinating my kids!"

So, okay, let's leave those anti-vaxxer dumbasses to rest, because we're smart people, right?

And we're greatly enjoying the 5G chips that were implanted with the COVID vaccine.

And this is another fucking vaccine conspiracy theory. Really? Really, people? I walked into this one. Should have seen this coming.

And let's not forget about the real risk of 5G communications.

This technology exists so the government can watch you masturbate through the sonar-like effect of the 5G waves.

You heard it here first.

Yes, it's bad. And now everyone knows.

At the end of the day, everybody wants to be on the right side of history, the right side of the facts, and the right side of the lens. Me? I just want to be left alone in a dark room where no one asks me to smile for a photograph.

The planet might be hurtling toward a geopolitical dumpster fire fueled by weaponized fiction, but at least we can take comfort in one universal truth: no matter how smart, righteous, or well-informed you think you are, half the world is below average—and the other half is probably hiding from a camera.

Or we could sit down as a society, work on our differences, agree on some very important points, agree than being happy and at peace is more important that being right and move forward towards an utopic world. Yeah, I’ll sit down to wait for this one.

War Is peace, peace is war. 

Now, we know that the only real conspiracy is the one aimed at getting me to pose for photos like a fucking trained bear. Not gonna happen, it doesn’t matter how many toxic jabs you people feed me.

Now, mix artificial tears with LSD and watch the walls melt or something, what am I, your mom?